Tuesday, September 16, 2008

the end

My dear readers, all good things must come to an end, and unfortunately, I feel it is time to end my blogs.

I have been debating this decision for a long time, yet I keep coming back to the idea that it is time to shut them down and move on. With how my life has changed, and more importantly how my life is going to continue to change soon, I simply have not had the time to devote to them. I have not been maintaining them in any decent way; I have not been able to follow other people's blogs. I have lost my readerships, and my commenters have fallen silent. I'm unable to keep up readable, worthwhile blogs, and I have lost the feedback that motivated me to do so.

I simply don't have the time. My new position at my job will be monopolizing my time a lot more than my current one does. I will be on the road, and I will be overseas for three months in Iraq or Afghanistan. My maintenance will only continue to deteriorate from this point, so I feel it better to call it a clean end now, rather than let them pathetically peter out to dormancy.

I no longer live alone either. I used to spend my calm, wonderful solitary hours writing and reading blogs. But now, I live with Guy #2, and he soon won't be traveling anymore. I want to put my time into that rather than chaining myself to the computer more than I already do at work. I missed so much time with him traveling, and will continue to do so with me traveling, but I want to try to make some of that up.

Plus I feel I have said everything that I can say. I feel that my blogs do nothing but repeat themselves. How many times can I fuck the same guy? How many times can I ride the same bipolar cycles? Everything I write now echoes something I have written before. It bores me, so I imagine it is just as tedious to my readers as well.

I stopped documenting my sexual misadventures a while ago, which you could probably tell from the dates on the sex posts, and I have felt liberated by not thinking "oh I have to remember this for when I write it..." while I am fucking. I have basically been putting fragments of my journal on bipolar swirl. I am just not a blogger anymore; my mind does not demand it anymore and has even started to revolt against it.

So for all these reasons, most importantly the new job and all the other major changes in my life, I have decided to close down My Sexual Misadventures and bipolar swirl. It's the end of an era for me. I started the blogs as a Writing for the Media project in college in 2004. I have poured my life, my mind, and my soul into these posts and laid myself bare on the internet. I have met fascinating people and caught glimpses of their minds and lives. I have made friends and met other bloggers in person. I had my very first reader die. It has all been an experience I am happy to have participated in.

And I thank you, my dear readers, the commenters and the lurkers, for reading me for so long. I don't think I would have blogged for long at all if it wasn't for your feedback and numbers on the stat counter.

I will still be posting the occasional sex toy reviews on Sexperimentation, and depending on where I am sent, I may try to put up another blog for my time overseas under my real name. Email me if you want that address when/if it all comes to pass.

I have also decided that I will leave fragments of these two blogs up as archives. I can't bring myself to delete them completely. And I feel compelled to leave How to Kill Yourself Slowly up specifically because of all the response and emails it has generated over the years.

Please feel free to email me anytime and for any reason at chris.sexmis@gmail.com. Love and goodbye...

34 comments:

bondibetty said...

Chris, I am sitting here with tears rolling down my face. I will miss you terribly and feel like I'm saying goodbye to a wonderful close friend. Thank you for sharing so often and so honestly. Your words opened my heart innumerable times and inspired me in ways I never imagined was possible.

I'm also crying because I'm so happy for you. When we met you seemed a lost soul, a little bruised and battered and so very scared. Now we have you, a strong confident young woman who has fallen in love, and is loved, by her perfect man - about to embark on an incredible journey.

Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Life will be a little less bright without you in it.

Put me down for that 'real' site. And I'll be in touch when I'm in the US. I'd love to meet you in the flesh.

Not goodbye, see you later.

Still just me said...

Oh Chris,

Although I understand completely, I also know exactly where you are coming from. We all finish a book in lives, close its pages, and then open another one.

I cannot tell you how much you have put my own mind at ease over the last year. Thank you for that.

Please keep my email and good luck in everything that you do.

TC said...

I don't even know what to say to this.

I'm so happy for you to start. I guess because, like bondibetty... you've come a long, long way in the two years I've been reading you. I hope that things with #2 are wonderful and that you two continue to have wonderful sex and that someday you have those beautiful kids you've only just started to let yourselves dream about.

Be happy. Enjoy these new changes. In the end... you made a good choice. I've grappled with the idea a lot myself lately. I don't have the time - and when I do, I don't make the time. I do stuff and think "Oh I should blog that!" and then, when I sit down, I avoid my computer like the plague.

They should really only be a phase of your life you know?

However, I wouldn't delete my work if I were you. You can always just put your blog to "by invite only," stopping the world from reading but keeping all your work for yourself. Or, putting stuff back "in draft" mode. But don't delete. You never know when those words might come in handy some day.

Anonymous said...

Chris
I will miss you and your blogs. I may not comment very often but I visit your blog most days.
I am sorry that you have decided to close your blogs but I do understand and respect your decision.
Also, I must thank you for the support you have given me. You know what I mean :-)
I wish you all good luck!!

Anonymous said...

Chris
I will miss you and your blogs. I may not comment very often but I visit your blog most days.
I am sorry that you have decided to close your blogs but I do understand and respect your decision.
Also, I must thank you for the support you have given me. You know what I mean :-)
I wish you all good luck!!

stphilip said...

hay chris i will miss your blogs i found bi polar swirl by googleing how to kill yourself and i found your blog and later contacted you by email on how to overcome certin things i hope to still talk to you throu google and i hope your life works out

SB said...

Everything bondibetty said. I haven't been able to read you as much lately, but I will definitely miss you. Good luck with everything, and please, if you do decide to write another blog, let me know!
Erin

Anonymous said...

Enjoy and best of luck to you! I've enjoyed your blogs immensely.

Paperback Writer said...

I've already said a mini bloggy good bye on the other blog. :) I'll be emailing you soon.

Anonymous said...

i've been following your blog for the last few months and have enjoyed following your life/perspectives.

best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Good to luck to you for the future

xx

Stephen said...

D=

This is horrible, horrible news! Which I am just noticing now. Either way, best of luck Chris.. Have a great life girlie. Your blog has always been a pleasure to read, and I am much glad you will be leaving How To Kill Yourself Slowly up.

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trrish said...

Chris, I've only just found you. Thank you for preserving "How To Kill Yourself Slowly".